The intent of this document is to share a trove of Biblical resources on masculinity and provide a heads up on common questions people have wrestled with.

Lion-Lamb Paradox

A man must learn to live as both lion and lamb. He must be fierce when defending the honor of God and the dignity of the poor, the weak, women, and children. Yet he must also be gentle, lowly, and meek, willing to suffer quietly when his own name is slandered, ridiculed, or mocked for the sake of Christ. He should be bold enough to make evil religious and political men tremble, yet warm and tender enough that children and widows feel safe in his presence.

Veer too far in either direction and you become a weak man.

Too much lion, and you become a bully. Acting tough in every situation, carelessly swinging a heavy hand, intimidating everyone around you, including your wife and children. You become the chest-beating, red-pilled “alpha” who mistakes bluster for strength and conflates coarseness and cruelty with masculinity. Your insecurity causes you to verbally or physically retaliate whenever you feel emasculated.

Too much lamb, and you become spineless. You allow yourself to be taken advantage of and others suffer because of your inaction and passivity. You drift through life fearful, timid, and self-protective, offering no direction, no courage, no leadership. Prone to excuse-making and blame shifting. A soft man in all the wrong ways. Before long, you become the object of quiet disdain from your wife and children.

Consider the greatest man who ever walked the earth, Jesus Christ, who embodied perfect wisdom as He displayed both the Lion and the Lamb. Zealous for the house and name of God, the Lion of Judah roared in righteous anger as He overturned the tables of moneychangers who preyed on weary, poor travelers seeking to worship. With piercing eyes, He saw the self-righteous hypocrisy of the religious elite and confronted their lack of compassion and their spiritual pride. And yet, with heart breaking with compassion, He wept with those who wept. He was approachable, gentle enough that children embraced Him and the suffering found comfort in His presence. As the Lamb of God, he quietly received spit, slaps, and slander for the sake of the world.

Surplus Value Principle

Acts 20:35 In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive’

Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Matthew 5:16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

What makes a man? It’s natural to reach for external markers like age, a religious ceremony, money, or a sexual experience. But Jesus and Paul offer a deeper, more substantial principle: surplus value.

Surplus value is at the heart of maturity and masculinity.

Do you give more than you take? Create more than you consume? Add more love and light to the world than you drain from it? Can you absorb criticism, complaints, and hostility without reflexively spewing them back? Are you a faucet, not a drain? One who carries burdens rather than becoming one? Do your words create and strengthen life, engendering growth, clarity, and courage—instead of tearing down? Do you contribute more than you extract? Leave every room, every relationship, every project better than you found it? When you speak, do you have something to offer: encouragement, wisdom, correction, counsel? And when you spend, does more of it go outward than inward?

This is why an active church member serving at his local church is more of a man than a serial church hopper and shopper.

This is often why becoming a husband or father accelerates growth. Suddenly, you have more counsel to give, more problems to solve, more emotions to manage, more mouths to feed. You’re forced to think beyond yourself.

Consider every sphere of your life and see whether you are a net-positive in your friendships, marriage, workplace, church, neighborhood, bible study, etc.

How much value do you add to the communities and people around you?

Threefold Duties of Godly Men

The duties of lead, protect, and provide are gleaned from Scripture and evident in nature. All of this is to ensure the physical and spiritual flourishing of those under your authority. Your role should make others wiser, smarter, stronger, and more holy.

Lead

  • Spiritual
    • Men will initiate efforts for discipleship, service, church membership
    • Set the example of loving, honoring, and serving Christ with reverence and humility
    • Men will initiate efforts to repent, confess, reconcile, and forgive one another
    • Men will set the rhythm of devotions and be the spiritual thermostat of the house (setting the spiritual climate and tone)
    • Men will inform, inspire, and solicit prayer
    • Men will bring up the tough conversations
  • Physical
    • Men will take the intiative to get things done (around the house, taxes, planning trips, dates)
    • Men will set a positive example, demonstrating integrity, hard work, and responsibility.
    • Men will engage in the education and discipline of children, ensuring they grow in knowledge and character.

Protect

  • Spiritual
    • Men will guard against false teachings and ideologies that could lead the family or community astray in social media, TV shows, movies, podcasts, books, sermons
    • Men will pray for spiritual protection against the schemes of the devil and the influences of the sinful world.
  • Physical
    • Men will ensure the safety of the family or community from physical harm or danger.
    • Men will take steps to secure the home or community environment against physical threats.
    • Men will be willing to stand up for, defend, and even die for those under your care from physical/emotional/mental harm.

Provide

  • Spiritual
    • Men will provide spiritual nourishment through regular engagement with the Word of God and prayer.
    • Men will offer wisdom and counsel based on Scripture to guide others through life’s challenges and decisions.
  • Physical
    • Men will ensure the physical needs of the family or community are met, such as food, shelter, and safety.
    • Men will work diligently to support those under his care, whether through employment or other means of provision.
    • Men will plan for the future, including savings and investments, to secure the well-being of the family or community.

Biblical Resources on Masculinity

Q&A

Articles

Sermons