Book Cover

Chapter 1: Discipline for Godliness

  • Discipline is the indispensable key for accomplishing anything in this life. It’s the mother and handmaiden of what we call genius.
  • 1 Timothy 4:7 “Train yourself for godliness”
    • The word train comes from the word gumnos, which means “naked” and is the word from which we derive our English word gymnasium.
    • In traditional Greek athletic contests, the participants competed without clothing so as not to be encumbered.
    • Hebrews 12:1 “…let us also lay side every weight and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.”
    • Get rid of every encumberance, every association, habit, and tendency that impedes godliness.
  • Show some spiritual sweat. Strip down to a lean, spiritual nakedness.
  • 1 Timothy 4:10 “…for to this end we toil and strive”
    • Toil means strenuous work
    • Strive comes from the Greek word where we get the work “agonize”
  • Hindrances to discipline
    • Feminism: masculine toughness and ruggedness required for disciplined is rejected by a castrating, God-denying, gender-blurring culture
    • Entertainment: addictions to entertainment (games, porn, sports) instill passiveness, enslavement, impotence. Like a drone (male bee with no string and no honey only fawning over queen)
    • Legalism: fear of submitting oneself to a set of Draconian rules again. Legalism is man-centered. Discipline is God-centered.

Chapter 2: Discipline of Purity

  • 56% of teens and young adults believe that not recycling is immoral, but only 32% consider viewing pornographic images immoral.
  • Sensuality is easily the biggest obstacle to godliness among men today, and it is wreaking havoc in the church. Do not be deceived: godliness and sensuality are mutually exclusive.
  • Pathology of lust:
    • Densensitization
      • Slow embrace of socially permitted sensuality
      • Men, it is the “legal” sensualities, the culturally acceptable indulgences, that will take us down. The long hours of indiscriminate TV watching or internet surfing, etc.
    • Relaxation
      • Just when we think we are the safest, when we feel no need to keep our guard up, to work on our inner integrity, to discipline ourselves for godliness….temptation will come
    • Fixation
      • A look become a sinful stare and then a burning, libidinous,sweaty leer.
      • Dietrich Bonhoeffer: “At this moment…loses all reality…Satan does not fill us with hatred of God, but with forgetfulness of God.”
    • Rationalization
      • The mind controlled by lust has an infintite capacity for rationalization:
        • “How can something that has brought such enjoyment be wrong?”
        • “God’s will for me is to be happy; certainly he would not deny me anything that is essential to my happiness…and this is it!”
        • “The question here is one of love…I’m acting in love, the highest love.”
    • Degeneration: downhill spiral of other sins like David’s adultery, lies, murder, etc.
  • Discipline of Purity
    • Accountability: find men who ask you hard questions directly and unapologetically.
    • Prayer
    • Memorization: “I have seen the disciplined memorization of 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 change a man’s life”
    • Mind
      • Men, it is impossible for you to maintain a pure mind if you are a television-watching, internet-surfing, video-game-playing “couch potato”. In one week you will watch more murders, adulteries, and perversions than our grandfathers read about in their entire lives.
      • No man who allows the rottenness of R-rated movies and shows, the various “soft-core” pornography magazines and suggestive digital images to flow through his house and mind will escape sensuality.
      • Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned? (Proverbs 6:27)
    • Boundaries
      • Refrain from verbal intimacy with women other than your spouse
      • Add a third person when needed
      • Stop flirting
    • Reality
      • Be real about your sexuality.
    • Divine awareness
      • “How then can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?” (Genesis 39:9)

Chapter 3: Discipline of Marriage

  • Attitude shift: “I do not have to chare for her, I get to!”
  • “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:25)
  • Marriage is a call to die, death to our rights, our time, or our perceived pleasures.
  • Christ suffers with his bride (Acts 9:4), and husbands ought to suffer with and for theirs.
  • Giving ourselves for our brides involves prayerful intercession
  • Men, you ought to have a list of your wives’ needs, spoken and unspoken, that you passionately hold up to God out of love for them.
  • Have an elevating effect on your wife
    • Is my wife more like Christ because she is marreid to me? Or is she like Christ in spite of me?
    • Has she shrunk from his likeness because of me?
    • Do I sanctify her or hold her back?
    • Is she a better woman because she is married to me? Is she a better friend? A better mother?
  • Survey: “If you could change your husband, what would you change?” Overwhelming consensus: “better listener”
  • Compliments on her kindness and her daily provisions should be commonplace, as should showering her respect by observing common courtesies.
  • One of the major factors in marital stability, happiness, and satisfaction is time spent together. Your calendar reveals what is important to you, so write her calendar into yours. Schedule weekly times together that do not just “happen”. Be creative. Date. Surprise her. Be extravagant.

Chapter 4: Discipline of Fatherhood

  • Parents often take too much blame for their children’s problems and too much credit when they turn out well
  • Outline for Fathers in one pungent verse: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipeline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)

Do Not’s

  • Criticism: harsh, sarcasm, demeaning, lack of praise
  • Excessive Strictness: overly strict and controlling, harsh legalism
  • Irritability: explosive anger, grouchiness due to pressure/stress of life
  • Inconsistency: conflicting messages, mixed signals to children, false promises
  • Favoritism: is crushing and disheartening to know you are less favored

Do’s

  • Tenderness: “bring them up” implies “to nourish and feed”. speak with gentleness and friendliness, affection
  • Discipline: training even with corporal punishment at times. Don’t outsource entirely to wife
  • Instruction: “to place before the mind, to “confront”.
    • Involved regularly in verbally instructing children
    • regularly leading them in family devotions and prayer
    • monitoring and being responsbile along with wives for input that neters their impressionable minds
    • taking responsibility to help assure that church is a meaningful experience
    • make sure that the open book of our lives demonstrates the reality of our instruction, for in watching us they will learn most

Chapter 5: Discipline of Friendship

  • Men do not value friendship. Values of individualism, isolation, and privatization pervade modern culture.
  • There are some who suffer from the delusion that real men do not need other people (heroic loners)
  • Men, if oyu are married, your wife must be your most intimate friend, but to say “My wife is my best friend” can be a cop-out.
  • The essential elements and wisdom for genuine friendships:
    • Friendship’s Mutuality
      • Two souls chorus the same cries:
        • They assent to the same authority
        • They know the same God
        • They go the same way
        • They long for the same things
        • They dream mutual dreams
        • They yearn for the same experiences of holiness and worship
    • Friendship’s Love: loving another as you love yourself. Honest, unselfish love.
    • Friendship’s Commitment
      • Each friend works for and rejoices in the other’s elevation and achievements. No hooks, no desire to manipulate or control, no jealousy or exclusiveness. A simple desire for the best for the other.
    • Friendship’s Loyalty
      • Once-prosperous friendships fade because of disloyal talk.
    • Friendship’s Encouragement
      • A friend who points your gaze upward during dishearening or discouraging circumstances
      • The “Titus Touch” (2 Corinthians 7:6-7)
  • Disciplines of Friendship
    • Prayer: Pray for God’s help in effecting inward changes that will expand our capacities for friendship
    • Friendliness: Be conciously cheerful. Ask Question. Situate yourselves in friendship-forming circumstances. Take initiative.
    • Work: Recognize value of friendship and work for it.
    • Affirmation: Be liberal with honest affirmations.
    • Listening: listen well.
    • Acceptance: Sarcastic smiles, innuendos, awkward silences, club atmospheres…have an open, accepting soul
    • Hospitality: this is not exclusively a feminine mandate. take the initiative in practicing hospitality.